Delores....You little tramp!

Yes, my cat can't keep the penny between her knees. She's gone and gotten herself knocked up by some nameless neighborhood cat. I guess all my "sex talks" went in one ear and out the other with her... I mean she seemed to be listening when I told her to wait until she found that special someone, and to use protection, but apparently she wasn't. She doesn't even know who the daddy is, I asked her and she just kept licking herself and ignoring me...I think that meant, "could be any unneutered male cat in the neighborhood." I fully intended on keeping her indoors at least until she was spayed, but my ex-husband had a different idea, and once she got a taste for the outdoors, there was no stopping her. So I guess I'm going to be a grandparent earlier then expected. If she thinks I'm going to raise her babies while she goes out and sleeps around some more she is sadly mistaken...Sadly mistaken...She's decided to put them up for adoption anyway, she's not ready to be a mama...We'll keep them for a bit so she might see that it is fun to make the babies, but they are demanding little creatures with an incessant appetite, and a heck of a lot of energy...So If anyone out there wants to adopt an adorable kitten, keep me posted...I will post pictures of the little sweety-pies once they are born...and perhaps their little irresistible faces will melt your heart...but word to the wise...don't let them outside because they don't know how to say no...

Lost Inspiration

*I wrote this poem a long time ago...but once in a while I still feel this way...



Just can’t seem to find inspiration,
Just can’t seem to feel the anticipation.
I can’t seem to pull it out of my deepest core.
the desire is there, but nothing more,
It’s not that there’s no passion,
because it hurts so bad,
It’s just that I can’t express it,
and it makes me mad.

Time like a gust of wind swept in,
twirled me around and made me spin,
Now I feel dizzy and without direction,
Like I've lost my vision and there’s no correction.
I know it’s hard to envision,
I used to have little inhibition.
I’d pick up a pencil and start to write,
or I’d draw or paint and stay up all night.

Lost in a crazy “real life” world,
Feeling partly too mature, and partly “little girl”,
I just want to scream “LET ME OUT”
I just want to bang on the door and shout!
Open up and let this free,
It’s been trapped here too long and it’s swallowing me.
My music, writing and my art,
Trapped ever so deep within my heart.

Read this one.

Sometimes you read a book and you can truly relate to the characters, and you are truly a part of the story. This was the case with Cane River by Lalita Tademy. The book takes place on a Creole Plantation on the banks of Cane River in Louisiana. It chronicles four generations of enslaved women from1834 to the early 1930's, delving into the issues that plagued their difficult lives. I was most fascinated by this book as a woman of mixed origin. Most of the women in this book were mixed race and I often have wondered what it would have been like for me had I been born a little over a century ago? Even though I was born to parents who chose each other without considering colour, what if I was born a product of the rape of a slave girl by her master, born into slavery? Through the pages of this book, I tried to imagine myself as the characters, fighting to educate their children so that they may be able to escape the bondage of slavery. I thought about how my daughter although born of one white parent and one mixed parent was born resembling her grandmother, and how happy I was that she was blessed with the features of her black heritage, but in period in which this book takes place, this may have caused a mother to fear that her child would not have a chance at a better life than she had. It was an eerie look into a parallel world. I felt so connected to these women. They were born over a century before me and therefore had to fight so that I could be born to two free parents and be educated, able to read, write, attend college and own my own home. These were luxuries these women did not have, but fought hard for future generations of people who they would never live to know. The book starts at a time when slavery was widespread in the United states and that almost all wealthy or middle class white landowners owned slaves. Slaves were like livestock, traded, sold, separated from their babies, husbands, mothers and sisters. Anyone can imagine how terrible that would be to be sold away from their children. It continues through the time when some black people had freedom, but not as we know it today, and into the civil war, right through to after the civil war when freedom was a word that only meant they weren't owned, but did not mean they were treated equally. I began to think about how really this was not all that long ago in history, and who was it that decided that human beings could be bought and sold, and treated like livestock? This book is a must read as far as I'm concerned, because I think anyone can imagine what it would be like to live as these women lived. It enters my mind many times when I think about my children, one born with blond hair and blue eyes, and one born light brown skin and wild curly hair with the features of her black ancestry. I felt even more proud of my heritage and my ancestors whose stories were not likely too different from these women, and I felt even more blessed to be born in a time when I can be free. This book was based on historical data that the author had gathered on her family, but she of course added some elements of artistic license as she did not have the entire history of her family as is the case with many of our families that came from slavery. It was a beautifully written account of this historical period that showed how women were strong in fighting for their children and that they really did play a part in the freedom that we know today.